So, the economy still sucks and I'm still looking for work. This week I had the fortune of going on a few interviews. They were all awesome and I expect at least 2 offers by next week.
The first was for a wine tour company and sure enough the interviewer was drunk...i'm talking wasted-and-ready-to-go-home-with-someone drunk. Unfortunately, it was not with me...or maybe I was fortunate (the brooklyn accent was too much). She dropped my resume about twice as many times as she asked me where I was from (approx. 5), and then told me how much she loved my shoes (i wasn't wearing any). Part of the interview was singing karaoke and of course I picked my favorite: Air Supply "All Out Of Love". During the song she slow danced with me and attempted to stuff a dollar down my pants. Oh yeah, this was a group interview so the other 2 interviewees just sat and watched in embarrassment as their boss got drunk and fondled people (I'd say sexual harassment but I enjoyed it). Needless to say, I don't think I'd be able to get the job but it was a fun experience.
The second was for a real estate company in Midtown that seemed all too much. I was running a bit late and so started speed walking with an extra bounce in my step. When I got there I was a sweating mess not because I was worried about the interview but because I was walking and jogging. The fact I was sweating then made me nervous which then caused me to sweat more. I couldn't cool down not matter how much I tried. Then the 2 ladies I was interviewing with walked in in these skirts...and being the moron that I am I couldn't help but stair at their legs during the interview. Imagine a sweating dave staring at women's legs and trying to score a job. I got the feeling I had been caught. At some point I just realized how terrible it went and decided to just finish my questions early and let them go. My last words were "Do you ladies have business cards...thanks girls (once they handed them to me)...ok, I'll see you guys later"
That transition where the sexist pig came out in me...I slowly turned them from ladies, to girls, to guys...I was kicking myself the entire way out all while giggling like an idiot that I had been staring at their legs.
What did I learn I do great in interviews with drunk women but not so great with sober women. Somehow I need to get them drunk. Or better yet, I'll just get shit faced and see how that goes. At this point I just don't give a flying F#@%
